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Personal Information
I was born 07-05-62 I guess that makes me 36. Doesn't it? I was born in Lima, Ohio at Lima Memorial Hospital. I'm thinking around 5:48am. I'm not sure I don't remember much about that day. I'm the eldest child of my parents Patricia Ann Kimmey-Bradley & William Russell (Butch) Bradley Jr. I was an only child for almost 5 years until my sister Kelly Lynn came on the scene April 15, 1967. I can now in retrospect say that I really wasn't that happy to see her. She took the attention away from ME ME ME! That isn't to say that I was a selfish child, I wasn't. I was just used to having all the attention and I didn't want to give any of it up. In my 5- year- old mind she took my Mom and especially my Dad away from me. Looking back those thoughts were kind of stupid. I just had to learn to share. That for me wasn't a real easy job but I think I did a fairly good job. Over the years my sister and I have loved and hated each other as most brothers and sisters do. As adults we have grown closer than we ever were as children. That isn't to say we were anything but normal siblings who got on each other's nerves. We were very normal on that count. I really don't know what my life would have been like if Kelly hadn't have come into it. I always wished that she had been a brother but now I can truly say that NO brother could take her place in my heart. I LOVE my sister more than words can say. I hope that she knows that. I think she does but I still don't think she understands that if it were in my power I'd move the moon for her. In September of 1989 my sister married a wonderful man named Tommy Cross. Kelly asked me to step into my Dad's place and give her away. I did and it wasn't an easy job. In fact it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. As Kelly and I started walking down the aisle we were both very aware that our Dad wasn't there. This was something I knew that Dad really would have wanted to do. Even though Dad wasn't there I knew he was watching over that wedding and approved of my sisters choice as her husband. There was no doubt in my mind that these two loved each other. It showed in every move they made, in the air around them. I am very happy that Kelly offered me this opportunity. My brother-in-law (but brother just the same), is a very special guy. He reminds me so much of my Dad it can be scary at times. I'm glad he came into my sister's life, he has been very good for her and it shows. In January of 1992 I was blessed to hold my nephew T.J. for the first time. He was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. At 6 he is turning into a very sweet little man. I know that he'll turn out to be anything he sets his mind to. I wish him all the best life has to offer. I love him. In December of 1994 I held my niece Amber Rochelle for the first time. She was just as beautiful as T.J. and more. Over the past 4 years she has blossomed into a beautiful but very willful child. I'm smiling as I type this. With her will this child will go very far. She after all is a carbon copy of her mother and myself at her age. Those apples didn't fall far from the tree I'd say!
My childhood was pretty uneventful unless you consider the regular crap I got from my peers as eventful. I went to the 2 major amusement parks in Ohio frequently every summer. I really enjoyed those parks (Cedar Point in Sandusky and King's Island outside of Cincinnati). Those are memories I am very fond of and when I think of them they make me smile.
A really big turning point in my life was my dad's death when I was 16. It changed my life completely. Losing a parent is not something I recommend to anyone. It has been 20 years and it still feels like it was yesterday that he left my life. I miss him a lot! You never think about it until someone you love is gone. When they are gone you miss every little nuance and you know that you'll never hear that laugh or be hugged by them again. It's a feeling that I can't explain. 20 years later I can still hear my dad's laugh. It's very faint but I can hear it if I try. My point here is this: Make every day count you never know when you won't have that someone you love anymore. Always tell them you love them! I don't care if you were raised that way or not. It doesn't matter. I miss my Dad and wish I could have been sure that he knew that I loved him, but I can't. So screw all the dumb shit! Don't make the mistake that I did, tell the people you love that you love them or you may lose the chance!
A year after Dad died I left home. My Mom and I didn't see eye to eye on anything. To this day we can still have disagreements but we get over them. One of the reasons I left home was that I figured out why I'd always felt different from all of the other guys. I found out that I was Gay. My Mom being Very religious was NOT pleased! That is the biggest understatement ever made in the history of the world!! In 19 years she has come a long way, But she has a long way to go still. Around my birthday this year, we (Mom& I) had a major disagreement. I haven't spoken to her since then. We have been writing letters back and forth. I'm hoping this latest conflict can be resolved but I'm not that optimistic about it. I love my Mom but let me tell you, it can be very hard to LIKE her sometimes. I should probably add an update here. My Mom has done a lot to right the wrongs in the last few months. We had a family get together with her side of the family and things went fairly well. Thanksgiving was very nice and recently at my niece's 4th birthday party all was good. My Mom is trying and that is a good thing. She may never be what I want her to be but I can't expect perfection. If I expected that I would be very unhappy. How can I expect perfection from her when I don't show it myself? We are both doing the best we can and that is all that any of us can ask. Isn't it?
I have never been a person to "go easy into that good night." I came out of the closet with a BANG! I was in the gay bar at 16 because I looked older than my age. The drinking age was 18 for 3.2 beer then. I found out that I wasn't the only person who felt the way I did. Let me tell you, It blew my mind! It was great. I had felt like an outcast all of my life, now I finally fit in. Wrong!! It wasn't that easy! Gay people aren't all as nice as I am. I found I had gone from one frying pan into another. Except in this one the "flames" were bitchy queens who sliced at me with acid remarks. That isn't to say they were all that way. They weren't, I made a lot of stupid mistakes that I am not proud of but let me tell you I learned alot those first few years. I'm still learning in fact. I thought I'd find that special someone right away. Jeez, was I naive! I've been out um.. 19 years I've had relationships but none have filled the spot I have reserved for HIM, whoever he might be. I moved to Fort Wayne 15 years ago. I met my first lover and wasted 7 years of my life catering to him. That isn't to say I didn't love him in someway, all I know in hindsight is that it wasn't what everyone talks about when they talk about love. He died in January of 1994. Even though Michael wasn't the man of my dreams, I still considered him a friend. His death left a hole in my life and it wasn't a pleasant experience to lose him. He found out he was HIV+ about 2 month after I had started my second relationship. This was also a year or so after we had split up. I of course was who he said gave it to him. Wrong! Bobby (Michael's New Lover) & I went and got Eliza tests done. We both came back negative. I was relieved to say the least! I am happy to say that as of today I am still HIV- and I intend to stay that way!!!
My first lover (Michael) was at odds with the people that run the Up the Stairs Community Center. Years before they had had a parting of the ways. So for years I stayed away. In the years after Michael's death, I started going to the Community Center. I have met a lot of great people there, including my Best Buds, Roger & Dick. It is a great alternative to going to the bars. I enjoy meeting new people and I always feel welcome there, it's sort of like going home. I wish every gay community had a place like this to go to instead of the bars. It leads to a more healthy gay community than if we are just in the atmosphere of the bar scene.
I've wanted to have someone in my life and have yearned for someone for as long as I can remember. Recently I found someone and fell in love. I can truly say that I've never felt this feeling before. It is a great feeling. It is intense and seems to make every other sensation more intense. The gentleman that I fell in love with is just coming out and isn't ready for a serious relationship. About a month ago I told him that he needs to go and experience what being gay is about. Let me tell you that wasn't something easy or something that I really wanted to do. There is an old saying that " If you love something set it free and if it loves you back it will return" I think what I was trying to do by letting him go was to help him come to grips with being gay and all that goes with it. We are still going to remain friends and that I'm very happy about. It has been hard watching him being hit on in the bars. It hurts beyond anything I can explain. In future updates I will describe the kind of man that I want to spend my life with. Even if it doesn't bring Mr. Right to me it'll be helpful to get it out onto this page.
The things that I desire in a man, Hmm.. This is going to be very hard to put into words. I have a particular look that appeals to me. I love a man with dark hair and blue eyes. It has always been a turn on. That isn't to say that I write off anyone that isn't like that, because I don't. The guy I just broke up with is a blonde. A nice body is also a big plus but it really doesn't matter. This sounds really shallow because my body isn't all that great but I'm working on it. What really matters to me is a guy's personality. It really IS what's inside that matters. Let's say I meet a man that fits the bill on every one of my physical likes, if he is a dick or thinks he's all that, then I can be turned off instantly. I think a man that can overlook my faults is a very attractive man also. =-) The man that I see in my dreams really has no face. He is just someone that I feel whole and complete with when I'm with him in the dream world. When I was with Jody (that's the last guy's name) I felt like I was on top of the world. I can say that I was too. That isn't to say I can't feel that way when I'm single because I can. It's just so very hard to explain. I want to feel like this man can't get enough of me and I want to not be able to get enough of him. That statement isn't meant as a sexual statement. I mean enjoying each others company enough to want to be together and getting to know each other. I'm not saying that a sexual attraction isn't a good thing. It really is. Having a complete package is a good thing. I think I've rambled enough for now. If I ever get my thoughts together I'll continue this.
About 4 years ago I met Roger at the Up the Stairs Community Center. We became fast friends. I found out that he was interested in genealogy. In fact at the time he was President of the Steuben County Genealogical Society. Roger encouraged me to continue working on my family tree. I really only had the information that my Grandmother Bradley's sister Retha had compiled and I had no way of knowing how to go about doing the research. Thanx to Roger for giving me a push and showing me the ropes and to Richard for the use of his computer and Family Tree Maker program and his patience with me, I am well on my way. Recently I sent my entire family tree file to a webpage. The address is: http://members.tripod.com/~scoobydew I will be updating it as I get new information.
I started surfing the Internet about a year ago. Thanks to Dick and his computer. It has been really fun! I made a lot of online friends. I speak to quite a few everyday. If you are interested, we could always chat online sometime. You never know, it could be fun.
I think I should explain the background or wallpaper of my pages. Since I can remember I've always identified with Marilyn Monroe. She was a very beautiful woman and was grossly misunderstood. I have a tattoo of her on my left arm. I have been collecting memorabilia for years. I have a link on my Links page to the Marilyn Monroe Fan Club.
One of my patients (Karl) that I take care of in one of the nursing homes where I work suggested that I tell everyone what I do for a living. I will on a future update.
What Karl was trying to tell me to do is to let people know how special I am (his Opinion). I have always been a person who when exposed to people day after day I get attached to them. I work for a Temporary Agency so I go to alot of different Facilities. When I do my job I treat the people that I take care of the way I would want to be treated if I were in their positions. I don't feel that doing that and giving these people good care is anything out of the ordinary. I feel it is my job and doing the best I can is part of what I would do in any job that I had. But having patients like Karl Krudop and Ray Lepper and the many other wonderful people that I have and do take care of, have made the last 13 years of my working in this job a very special time. Thank you to all of you. I should probably take a moment and mention the people that have passed away during my years in this type of work. There have been so many and I've gotten attached to most every one. I miss your smiles I miss your kisses. Thank you for adding something special to my life. Thank you to the nurses and other aides I work with . If it weren't for you guys I wouldn't enjoy my job as much as I do. Especially the nurses and aides on Third Shift at Lutheran Homes in Fort Wayne. Nancy, Tammy, and Rita you make each shift that I work with you very special.The nurses and aides at Lakeland in Angola, Indiana on every shift I have worked. It has been a great pleasure to work with Debbie L. Especially Debbie! Delis G. and Mary T and Denise E. there has never been a better Director of Nursing! Everyone of you are very special to me. Thank you so very much to each and everyone of you. Whether or not I mentioned you, I am very thankful to have met and worked with each and everyone of you.
Thanx again for stopping in and stop again. I will be updating this page as much as I can, whenever I can. I will also be adding some new links to some more of my favorite sites on the web. Ok enough for now! Any comments or suggestions? Please Email me at:.......... [email protected]